There has been so much media coverage this week about the events of September 11, 2001. I was amazed at how much seeing and hearing the footage from that day rocked me to my very core. I had no idea that so many thoughts and feelings would come rushing back. I have been thinking alot about how my own experience played out on that day and what a big role music played in my processing of the event.
I was in a somewhat unique position that day as I saw seven music therapy groups on four campuses that day. The 2001-02 school year was the hardest one I have experienced due to an exceedingly heavy caseload and this day was a prime example of that. I got most all of my news from the radio in my car that day and I wasn't able to see a TV until almost noon. When I walked out of my apartment on that beautiful morning the world was pretty normal and it seemed as if fall had arrived, but by the time I started my car the events of the day had already started to unfold. I remember going to my first school where my teacher and her students did not know what was happening. I didn't want to tell them so I conducted my group in an ordinary fashion--it was a relief to me to have a little bit of "normal" on what would be an extraordinary day. By the time I got in my car to go to my second campus, the first tower had crumbled and I think that the second fell before I got to my second school. The news of the crash at the Pentagon was also coming in by that time. I was working in the direct flight path of DFW Airport and I remember sitting in my car watching plane after plane head into the airport. Everyone felt so uneasy that day and lots of parents were coming to pick their kids up from school and only a few of the afternoon students came to the preschool classes that I was working with. I remember looking at the classroom calendar--they were putting a paper apple with the number of each date on it during the class calendar time--and seeing the apple with the 11 on it...thinking that 9/11 would forever hold a significant place in history.
My day continued in the same manner with trips to two more campuses. I felt insecure and very alone that day as I traveled from place to place. I love the freedom that my job allows, but I was craving the company of others on that day. My last stop was at a high school, they had a blood drive scheduled for that day (just a coincidence) and had to stop taking donations because they ran out of supplies...people were wanting to help in any way that they could.
I finished my day at the home of my clarinet student for our usual Tuesday lesson. Alan was probably about an 8th grader at the time--a very bright student who was a joy to teach. We could hear the news coming from the TV in the other room, but neither of us spoke of the it. Making music was the most comfortable and normal thing that we could do. Looking back, I realize that cancelling the lesson--or any of my groups that day--was never a thought. Making music was seemed like the most natural thing that we could do that day and for that I am grateful.
I lived near Addison Airport at that time and had grown very used to the sound of commuter planes landing all day and into the night. When I first moved in it was a little unsettling and maybe annoying. However, I longed for those sounds in the days following 9/11. It was just so quiet...too quiet.
Lots of images stand out in my mind from that day and the days that follow. Who could forget the Congressmen standing on the steps of the Capital and singing God Bless America? Or when baseball came back to Yankee Stadium? Or Dan Rather crying on the David Letterman Show? I found myself lost in my work during those days--my students could not grasp what was going on in the world so things seemed pretty "normal" when we had our music therapy time together. I could almost loose myself in our music and fun and forget what was going on in the world. The innocence and trust in their eyes reminded me that we had such a responsibility to be strong for them.
Erik and I were supposed to fly to Nashville at the end of that week for a family wedding. Needless to say, we would not be catching any flights--I didn't see a plane in the sky until that Saturday when we were already in Nashville. It was an amazing time to be out on a long road trip, something that I will never forget. We saw flags and banners hanging off of random overpasses on interstate highways and patriotic messages written on cars and trucks. The radio stations were all playing fairly somber music and the DJs spoke in hushed tones. There was a feeling that we were all looking out for each other on those crowded highways.
There was an incredible spirit that arose in our country in the days following 9/11. I was sad that it took such tragedy to bring about such a great unity, but I loved it. People were taking the time to look out for each other and we stopped taking our time together for granted. I hope that the 10th anniversary of 9/11 will bring some of those feelings back to us and that we will take the time to reach out to our fellow man. I think that would send the loudest message to the terrorists...you can knock us down but we will just emerge stronger in the end.
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