Let Me Tell You Something About Frunners

There is nothing like the friendships that I have forged through running. Corina, a running friend, calls them "frunners"...friends who are also runners. We became friends because we run, but we remain friends for so many reasons besides running. My frunners are the most supportive group of people that I have ever met--capable of forming a "Bubble of Love" around a fellow frunner in need (another Corina term) and this week I was fortunate enough to experience my own Bubble of Love.

The story isn't about running, but about music--my profession and a mainstay in my life since I started playing clarinet twenty-five years ago. I have been a member of the Metropolitan Winds, an all-volunteer wind ensemble, for ten years now. I have written about them a few times as my playing with them has had some close brushes with running. Remember that time that I ran a half marathon and then played two concerts...in the same day?? Or as recently as this July where I ran a very hot 15K and then performed in a matinee concert. This group and the experiences that I have had with the group mean alot of me and have for many years now. Did you know that I unknowingly delayed my Valentine's Day proposal because there was Met Winds rehearsal on Valentine's night and I didn't want to miss it. Yep, poor Erik had to wait one more day and propose to me on February 15...all because I didn't want to miss band rehearsal. I have been a loyal member for ten years, rarely missing rehearsals and only missing one or two concerts (because they conflicted with out-of-state music therapy conferences). I have loyally paid my dues every semester, bought tickets so my friends and family could attend concerts, and have made extra monetary contributions whenever the group has asked. I might not have been the flashiest player in the clarinet section, but I was beyond loyal to the group.

When we returned to rehearsals this September it was announced that they wanted to cut the size of the group by about twenty players. They reasoned that the band had not been playing up to par lately and that a smaller group of stronger players would be...well...better. The new ensemble would be selected via auditions that would be held a few weeks later. The very thought of an audition freaked me out. I am a strong section player but am not used to playing alone or auditioning since I have not done it since college. I had lost some of my clarinet mojo, you could say, but I took the audition music home and was committed to learning it so that I could have a strong audition. Fast forward to this week--I show up on Thursday night, wait around two hours to audition, perform the best that I could, and was told that I would be a first alternate to the section. The group had been recruiting for performers and had found some new and flashy players to take my spot. It was the first audition in my life where I didn't make the group, so I felt pretty shocked. Needless to say, I was heartbroken and cried as I drove home in the rain.

You might wonder where the frunners come in...well, I had been tweeting to them during this whole process. I expressed my concern about the audition and expressed my impatience as I waited so long for the audition. They cheered me on before and during and then checked in with me when it was finished. The outpouring of support was overwhelming at times...seriously, it would start me boo-hooing all over again to read some of their tweets. Running is alot like music and I think that they all understood the pain of putting your best out there and it not being enough. I would be remiss if I limited the support just to my frunners, Erik has been so sweet and supportive--he had a glass of wine waiting for me when I got home and has listened to me talk through the whole thing over and over. I have also felt the love from fellow musician-friends and my coworkers. It stinks that it takes a crummy situation to make you realize how lucky you are, but sometimes that is what it takes. Thanks to everyone who reached out to me, it means alot.

So where am I headed from here? I have no intention of filling in as first alternate. If they can't offer me more after ten years of loyal support then I will find another place to share my talents. I'm going to take this time and focus my full attention on marathon training and then I will begin to explore new performance opportunities in January. It is important to me that I play my clarinet somewhere because it is a big part of who I am. Will Thursday nights be hard? Probably so, I have spent most of my Thursday nights for the last ten years at rehearsal. I have made some wonderful friendships in that group and I will miss seeing all of those faces. But I am moving forward too, I have already signed up for a 5K on a Thursday night in a couple of weeks and I am so excited! I always wanted to go to some of those random Thursday night races, but never could because I had rehearsal. I have even considered getting some Thursday night social runs together, how fun would that be? Hill training, anyone? Trail runs? Speedwork?

As I drove home, I heard a favorite (and fitting) Green Day song on the radio. These lyrics really hit home that night:

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

When Music and Running Collide...One Amazing Weekend

Unfortunately I didn't have this blog during the second weekend of December 2009. I wish that I had been writing then and had captured the weekend as it happened. For now I will have to rely on my memory to explain just why that weekend was so magical to me.

December 13, 2009 had been circled on my calendar for quite some time. Early in 2009 I set a goal to run a half marathon in 2:00 or less. The year proved to be quite challenging to me as I dealt with some injury-like issues, which turned out be mostly shoe related (a story for another day). I was unsure, at times, if this was a goal that I would ever reach. Things started to look up in September when I finished a half in 2:01 and they looked even better in November when I finished the DRC Half in 2:00:26. My last chance for the year would be at the White Rock Half Marathon on December 13. The White Rock Marathon is a special one to Erik and me as his Uncle Chock served as chair of that race for several years. Erik has manned the Dolly Pardon water station for about 9 years now and he ran the full marathon, his first, in 2008. I fully intend to run the White Rock Half every year, it is that special to us.

The weekend began to look even more interesting earlier that fall when I got our wind ensemble schedule. We had been given an extraordinary opportunity to perform on four holiday concerts with the Turtle Creek Chorale in the brand new Winspear Opera House. There would be four concerts: Friday 12/11, Saturday 12/12, and TWO concerts on Sun 12/13. At first glance I decided that I would just miss the afternoon concert on 12/13...but we were told that it was all or nothing--play every concert or none at all. There was no way that I could pass up such a special opportunity--the Turtle Creek Chorale is amazing and a chance to play in the Winspear was something that I only dreamed of. I decided then that I would do it all...play 4 concerts and run a half marathon in the span of one weekend.

The weeks leading up to the concerts were quite hectic. Not only did I have the usual holiday obligations, but there were several extra rehearsals for the concerts. Of course, none of these rehearsals were close to home and I spent many hours driving up and down the tollway. I was in awe of the Winspear, I felt like such a grown-up musician! I only dreamed of things like this when I was a high school band student in Denison, Texas.

The concerts began on Friday and we were full speed ahead from that point. Saturday got even busier as I managed to cram yoga, a high school football game (state semi-finals for the Yellowjackets, no way I was missing that!), and a concert into the day. It was late when I got home that night and even later when I got to bed. I was not used to having that little sleep before a race and felt exhausted when the alarm went off early on race morning. As I stumbled around the house, I began to see my 2:00 goal slipping away. I was telling myself that it was okay if I didn't make it, that sometimes there are challenging circumstances that are out of my control. The morning was foggy as I headed south on the tollway yet again. I remember laughing to myself about how a musician's lifestyle and a runner's lifestyle really aren't a good match...musicians stay up to the wee hours and runners get up in the wee hours!

The running gods must have been looking out for me that day. I found a parking spot with no problem and had plenty of time to eat, listen to music, and get ready to go. As soon as I walked up I ran into Ben and Liza, friends from my little running group. They were doing the full marathon that day--a 1st for Liza and she was nervous. The race got off to a very organized start thanks to the corral system.

Early in the race I passed within sight of the Winspear, I remember looking at it and thinking how cool it was that I would be playing there later in the day. The race was just about perfect: perfect weather, amazing crowds, familiar scenery. I could not have asked for anything more. I am certain that I was smiling every step of the way. I knew that I was on a pace to break 2:00, I just didn't know by how much. Imagine my excitement when I crossed the finish line and saw 1:57:18 on my watch. A new PR by 3 minutes!!

I flew into the afternoon concert on a cloud...I suppose my runner's high was still in full effect. That concert was very special because my parents, brother, and his wife were in attendance. I'm sure that I wasn't looking so great by the second concert later that night, and I was never so happy to drive north on the tollway and go home. I am also not sure how I made it through the remaining week of school following that weekend. I'm pretty sure that I could have fallen asleep at any given moment and I don't know that I was the most patient or effective therapist for my students. I'm not sure how I did all that, but again it taught me that I am capable of more than I ever imagined. I was even more flattered later in the week, when my mother-in-law sent me a Wonder Woman bracelet. I remember that weekend every time that I look at it.

I have been thinking about that weekend lately as I have another weekend of music and running ahead. On Sunday I will run the Big D Texas Half and I will play a concert with the Metropolitan Winds at the Meyerson on Sunday night. I am hoping that I can recapture some of that magic and approach my PR time again. I have not been close to that time since White Rock...could it have been the music? Is there something magic about the combination of my two passions--music and running? Stay tuned...